We all know that jerk. The guy who cuts you off on the highway or the guy who brags about how great last night’s hookup was. Both of these guys suck, but it’s important to know the difference between the asshole and the douchebag. You might think these two jerks are the same kind of person, but if you look closely you can see that there are subtle nuances that fit each category. Luckily we are here to help you figure out which guy you’re dealing with. Some examples are an asshole doesn’t care what you think about him while
The Eddie Murphy Raw marriage bit may be the best bit in this entire stand up special. And that’s saying something because Raw is one of the funniest stand up specials in the history of comedy. But this scene is amazing. Eddie has decided that it’s time to get married. He found the love of his life, until he’s at the grocery store and sees a tabloid with a sad Johnny Carson and a happy ex-wife who had gotten half of his money. Half! Since Johnny Carson had $300 million he had to give $150 to his now ex-wife. Half!
We knew mice were smart, but we didn’t know they were THIS smart. In this adorable video, the mouse owner has clearly trained his pet mouse to ring the bell when he wants to go into his room. There are a pair of tiny bells that he set up next to the door. To show what the mouse can do, the owner set up a camera in front of the door and waited for the mouse to come by. In this video, the owner closed the door when he knew the mouse was approaching. As soon as the mouse realized he
You gotta hand it to MTV reality TV’s Farrah Abraham…the Teen Mom star is not afraid to let it all hang out there. In addition to debuting in her first porn last year as well as creating an extremely popular PornHub page, Farrah Abraham recently went on Twitter to debut her latest plastic surgery endeavor: brand new lips. Farrah Abraham posted photos of the results of the surgery, lip implant to give the mom “fuller” lips. Unfortunately the results are horrible, and make her look more like a cartoon character than a supermodel. Thankfully Farrah Abraham recognizes this, as she posted a picture of herself alongside Leela
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of …
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, …
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with …
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the …
a golden retriever