George Carlin stand up is in the comedy hall of fame. In fact, he could have built the comedy hall of fame. Perhaps no other stand up, aside from Richard Pryor has had more of an impact on the social ills of society and America than the simple words of George Carlin stand up. This routine is some classic Carlin. He breaks down how we have taken a once beautiful land and turned it into shopping malls, strip malls and gas stations. In classic Carlin prose he rattles off ill after ill with pinpoint precision but his list is not just
The good people at Reddit started a thread summarizing the backwards movie plots of their favorite movies. And it seemed pretty clear that Hollywood needs to de-boot (that should be a word) some of these movies plots and repackage them as new and totally different. Here’s a bunch of them and I have to say, 127 Hours and Jaws would be huge blockbusters. Here’s what some of the most popular movies ever would look like if their plots were backwards: 127 Hours An uplifting story about a one armed man who attaches a severed arm he found in the desert.
Yes, maternity photos are oh-so-sweet and we love when we see friends and wives taking them and posting them to Facebook for all the world to “Oooh!” and”Aaah!” Maternity photos are a great way to remember that special time period in life, which is a chapter that many couples say is their favorite. But what if you don’t want to have a lovey-dovey maternity photo shoot? What if you stomp your feet and say “No! I will never have one of those cheesy shoots. That is so not me!” Well, if you’re this woman’s husband you go ahead and say
Thanks, sign. But I THINK WE GOT THIS. Have you ever seen a funny warning sign and thought to yourself: Wait, what? Did someone really take the time to make that because they thought someone actually wouldn’t know that? Well, if you haven’t, today is your lucky day with this gallery of funny warning signs and instructions. I mean, how dumb do people think other people actually are? It’s like explaining to someone that they breathe in order to survive. Oh wait. One of these funny warning signs practically says that? That’s right. It actually warns people NOT TO
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of …
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, …
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with …
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the …
a golden retriever