George Carlin stand up is in the comedy hall of fame. In fact, he could have built the comedy hall of fame. Perhaps no other stand up, aside from Richard Pryor has had more of an impact on the social ills of society and America than the simple words of George Carlin stand up. This routine is some classic Carlin. He breaks down how we have taken a once beautiful land and turned it into shopping malls, strip malls and gas stations. In classic Carlin prose he rattles off ill after ill with pinpoint precision but his list is not just
Outdoor travel is in full-swing at this point of the summer. And while tons of people are enjoying their nights under the stars roasting s’mores, camping can be dangerous if you’re not prepared. It’s very easy (and more common) these days for people to get lost or loose (or run out) of their supplies. When the time comes to learn how to survive, not everybody knows what to do. This gallery of awesome camping hacks can help you be prepared feel like a pro. From single-serve toothpaste to ziploc bag pillows or chips used as tinder, these camping hacks are super
Is there anything better than a good Seinfeld quote? We don’t think so, which is why we’ve compiled our favorite Seinfeld quotes EVER. Scroll through and share these Seinfeld quotes with friends for more than a few laughs. You should’ve seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.-George I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!-Kramer If you can’t say something bad about a relationship you shouldn’t say anything at all.-George Mr. Ross: I
This video of a twerking girl who craps her pants is truly gross…but also hilariously funny. A few days ago a video from Russia called “Dancing Crap” surfaced and almost broke the Internet. And now, not the way Kim Kardashian did. We think this video is way better! The video shows a girl twerking her butt in tights. She’s twerking normally for a minute or two when all of a sudden, you start to see something brown staining her white tights. Then you (and the person holding the camera) start to realize what has just happened. She crapped her
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
a golden retriever
