These have to be the funniest tweets EVER. In fact, these funny tweets are what make Twitter so awesome: they are a collection of 140 characters of pure awesomeness. Yes, Twitter can get boring and sometimes I wonder why I even use it, but then you see a collection of the funniest tweets ever and you remember why you spend hours scouring your Twitter feed…it’s to find hidden gems like these! Granted, most of the tweets I see are of people posting photos of the lunch they’re about to eat or some terrible selfie that nobody wants to
Do you notice lately that more and more news outlets are using the term ‘Breaking News’ for everything! Seriously. Every time I put on everything from the Today Show to CNN or Fox News, there’s a breaking news alert for something that is really not breaking news or really all that important at all. It’s like they’re desperately trying to pull in viewers by having a breaking news alert constantly on their tickers. So we decided to compile the worst breaking news reports that we could find, and there are definitely a lot of them! From cats getting
The owners of these houses REALLY don’t want you to ring their doorbells this Halloween, as they’ve made perfectly clear in the funny notes that are direct and somewhat scary. These funny notes show that some people just don’t want to be disturbed, mostly because they have a kid that is sleeping and/or crazy dogs that they obviously don’t want barking up a storm. While we can understand the point of these funny notes, we’re always surprised at just how direct some people can be when it comes to their doorbells. I wouldn’t want to be a trick-or-treater who thinks it’s funny
This video of a truck driver who gets pulled over by a cop he claims was speeding gets really interesting halfway through. Here’s what happened: The truck driver gets pulled over by the cop who claims he used his horn improperly. The truck driver claimed he was using his horn beacause the police driver was allegedly driving faster than him on wet roads and on a cell phone. When the driver tells the cop this, the cop then allegedly says he wasn’t aware that he was speeding and that police officers are allowed to use technology (aka his cell phone) his
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of …
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, …
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with …
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the …
a golden retriever