The best way to become everyone’s best friend or the greatest guy at any party is to have a handful of hilarious and funny one liner jokes at the ready. Not only will they always give you something to talk about when there’s a lull in the conversation, but you will also be able to impress the ladies. This video of the 15 best one liners should be memorized so you can pull one out at the right time. Now, the art to telling a joke is very dicey. It’s not a science, you have to feel when it’s right.
We know we shouldn’t laugh at this little girl’s misfortune when it comes to her new toy, but this fireplace fairy is just too funny not to. In this America’s Funniest Home Video (which recently won a grand prize), an adorable little girl opens up her gift, which is a brand new fairy with a pink tutu and wings that actually work. Her parents, who must have been so excited to give her the gift and see her priceless reaction, have her turn the fairy on so she can see it work. At first everything seems to be going A-OK.
We wish somebody would make one of these super cool cat forts for us! Clearly these cats’ owners really, really, love them, because they’ve made some pretty amazing cat forts for their cats to play in. Granted, some of these look pretty simple (cats love them anyway), but the majority of these cat forts are pretty far out. There’s “Fort Meow,” which has a drawbridge for cats to peek through (which is awesome), and then there’s a cat fort that we don’t know how to describe except by saying that it looks like a dinosaur robot/transformer that would be
Here is Harland Williams as the hitchhiker in There’s Something About Mary. It is a dialog between Harland who play a crazy hitchhiker and Ben Stiller playing Ted. Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs? Ted: Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the excercise video. Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7… Minute… Abs. Ted: Right. Yes. OK, all right. I see where you’re going. Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin’ there, there’s 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you
Harland Williams There’s Something About Mary
Here is Harland Williams as the hitchhiker in There’s Something About Mary. It is a dialog between Harland who play a crazy hitchhiker and Ben Stiller playing Ted. Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs? Ted: Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the excercise video. Hitchhiker: …
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of …
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, …
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with …
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the …
a golden retriever