Here is Harland Williams Late Night with David Letterman performing his 2006 vintage stand-up. Couple notables: Pumpkins are the the only living organisms with triangle eyes? For all of you that can’t afford laser eye surgery, do like I did and wait for an old rerun of StarTrek and wait for that scene where the enterprise starts shooting laser beams and press your face up against the TV.
We’ve seen quite a few funny facebook status updates in our day, and it feels like the more friends we get the more we find. What is it about facebook that makes people say the stupidest or smartest things? We’ve written our share of clunkers, but we WISH we wrote these super funny facebook status updates instead. We’ll keep posting more funny facebook status updates as we find them, but in the meantime enjoy these zingers! This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it. I finally found a diet plan that works. It’s called “The
We all know those amazing beer commercials. A party is super lame and then someone comes in with a cooler full of X Brand of Beer, pops open a cold one and then all of a sudden…MAGIC HAPPENS. That got Buzzfeed thinking…what would happen if instead of beer, people got that excited over yogurt? So, Buzzfeed used the format of a typical beer commercial and substituted a brewskie for good old fashioned yogurt. The result was more than funny. Check out the video above!
If you have a cat, you know how awesome they can be. Left to their own devices, cats can pretty much get away with doing anything. And in this case, that includes yoga poses. This awesome GIF shows a trained yoga professional doing an extremely intricate yoga pose. And then you see an amazing cat doing pretty much the same thing. It’s awesome.
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
a golden retriever
