There is no one besides Bobcat that could pull of the role of Carl Hefler in the 1987 movie Burlar. Here are a few of our favorite Bobcat Goldthwait burglar lines: “Kay-no-bee… K-noby! Is that like in Star Wars?” “Your Caucasian Mr Hefler”…….”OH GREAT THROW THAT IN MY FACE TO!!!” “Like-like-like-like-like-like-like you’re my idea of a dream come true – takin’ shit from a dildo with ears?” “Fuck you? Thank you very much! I come here to give you a fuckin’ package and you decide to blow me shit?” “You know when I was like five I said, Dad Dad!
These 17 funniest office pranks ever will make you rethink the way you look at your cubicle. Instead of seeing the cage that keeps you from nine to five (and usually beyond) each weekday, you can now look at this as an opportunity to take out some fun frustration out on your fellow cubicle mates. Now, before you start to fill your neighbor’s four little walls with Cheetos, you may want to check with your boss first to get approval. You may even want to check with HR because there have been a few stories out there of people who
There are few things funnier to look at than dogs with eyebrows. I’m not sure what it is that adding something so simple as a couple of well drawn, or posted eyebrows to a dog’s face that completely changes their expressions. Dogs can go from happy to sad to intrigued to casual to hopeful with just the quick addition of a couple of well-place eyebrows. I’m not sure who’s idea it was to stick a couple of eyebrows on their dog, but whoever it was is a genius. And before you start to get concerned, none of the dogs in
If you haven’t heard of Wasted Gifs you should change that right now because there are my favorite new gif theme memes. The premise is simple, take a gif where someone, or something (possibly a dog) has some sort of hilarious accident like falling over or crashing into something and punctuate it with the gif background going dark and red “Wasted” text which is straight out of those cheesy PSA videos they used to show you at school (Hence the name wasted gifs.) As in, Annie got wasted at the party and then killed 100 people because of drugs. (We’re
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of …
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, …
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with …
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the …
a golden retriever