Most Viewed Jokes
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.- Steve Martin Funny Quote
Steve Martin Funny Quote
In this insane video, a plane almost lands on a sunbather in Germany, leaving us all to wonder not only why there is an airplane landing strip so close to a public beach, but why someone would choose to lay out directly in front of it. The pilot, who said it “wasn’t one of my greatest achievements in the cockpit,” managed to not land on the sunbather, who looked to be only inches away from getting flattened like a pancake by the wheels of the small airplane. The plane was literally RIGHT ON TOP OF THE SUNBATHER. We still can’t
Plane Almost Hits Sunbather on Beach
UCB comedy teacher/performer and BuzzFeed writer Ari Voukydis appeared on Jeopardy the other day and gave what might be the best jeopardy answer EVER. When Ari Voukydis was in Final Jeopardy, the clue given to him and the other contestants was: “In 1891, this European said, ‘Perhaps my factories will put an end to war sooner than your congresses.’” Clearly Ari Voukydis didn’t know the correct Jeopardy answer, so instead of making a guess he knew he would be pulling out of the dark, he gave the best answer ever. Ari Voukydis wrote the following as his response: “Who is this handsome gentleman?”
The Best Jeopardy Answer EVER
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.- Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck Funny Quote
The Divorce Trick: An old man calls up his son and says, “Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. “I’m sick of her face, and I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her,” and he hangs up. Now, the son is worried. So he calls up his sister. She says, “Like hell they’re getting divorced!” and calls her father immediately. “You’re not getting divorced! Don’t do another