Most Viewed Jokes
Q: How do you get a dog to stop barking in the front seat? A: Put him in the back seat.
Short Joke: Back Seat Barker
Whenever you watch a movie meant to be shown on the big screen but edited for regular TV, there will always be movies lines edited out for younger audiences. Whether it’s changing bullshit to bullcrap or ass to ants, movie editors will try to be as clever as possible when it comes to choosing a more appropriate movie line. But when you have a movie like Scarface or The Big Lebowski or Basic Instinct or Pulp Fiction, chances are you’ll have to do A LOT of editing to clean up the movie lines enough to put it on television. After awhile it
The Most Ridiculous Edited Movie Lines Ever
UCB comedy teacher/performer and BuzzFeed writer Ari Voukydis appeared on Jeopardy the other day and gave what might be the best jeopardy answer EVER. When Ari Voukydis was in Final Jeopardy, the clue given to him and the other contestants was: “In 1891, this European said, ‘Perhaps my factories will put an end to war sooner than your congresses.’” Clearly Ari Voukydis didn’t know the correct Jeopardy answer, so instead of making a guess he knew he would be pulling out of the dark, he gave the best answer ever. Ari Voukydis wrote the following as his response: “Who is this handsome gentleman?”
The Best Jeopardy Answer EVER
The Divorce Trick: An old man calls up his son and says, “Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. “I’m sick of her face, and I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her,” and he hangs up. Now, the son is worried. So he calls up his sister. She says, “Like hell they’re getting divorced!” and calls her father immediately. “You’re not getting divorced! Don’t do another
Funny Joke: The Divorce Trick
Funny: Accountants on a Train Joke Three lawyers and three accountants stood in line to buy tickets for a train ride to the city. The three accountants bought only one ticket between them, while the three lawyers bought one ticket each. After the men got on the train, one of the lawyers asked one of the accountants, “Why did you only buy one ticket when there’s three of you?” The accountant answered, “We are accountants, and very frugal with our money. Watch and learn.” As the train’s conductor made his way through the car, all the accountants got up and