People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.-Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld Funny Quote
People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.-Jerry Seinfeld
funny quotes
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you’re right shut up.-Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Funny Quote
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you’re right shut up.-Ogden Nash
Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.-Bob Thaves
Bob Thaves Funny Quote
Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.-Bob Thaves
If you even dream of beating me you’d better wake up and apologize.-Muhammed Ali
Muhammad Ali Quote
If you even dream of beating me you’d better wake up and apologize.-Muhammed Ali
The best way to keep children home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere . . . and let the air out of the tires.-Dorothy Parker Click here for more funny quotes
Dorothy Parker Funny Quote
The best way to keep children home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere . . . and let the air out of the tires.-Dorothy Parker Click here for more funny quotes
There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you’re interrupting.- Mark Twain Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes
Mark Twain Funny Quote
There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you’re interrupting.- Mark Twain Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes
I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.-Jerome K. Jerome
Jerome K Jerome Funny Quote
I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.-Jerome K. Jerome
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.-Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield Funny Quote
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.-Rodney Dangerfield
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.-Doug Larson
Doug Larson Funny Quote
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.-Doug Larson
When opportunity knocks, some people are in the backyard looking for four-leaf clovers.-Polish Proverb
Funny Polish Quotes
When opportunity knocks, some people are in the backyard looking for four-leaf clovers.-Polish Proverb
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.- Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck Funny Quote
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.- Erma Bombeck
The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.-George Jessel
George Jessel Funny Quote
The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.-George Jessel