Is there anything better than a good Seinfeld quote? We don't think so, which is why we've compiled our favorite Seinfeld quotes EVER. Scroll through and share these Seinfeld quotes with friends for more than a few laughs.
[Quote]
You should've seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.-George
[/Quote]
[Quote]
I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!-Kramer
[/Quote]
[Quote]
If you can't say something bad about a relationship you shouldn't say anything at all.-George
[/Quote]
[Quote]
Mr. Ross: I don't think there's any greater tragedy than when parents outlive their children.
George Costanza: Yes, I hope my parents die long before I do.
[/Quote]
[Quote]
George Costanza: What kind of a person are you?
Jerry: I think I'm pretty much like you, only successful.
[/Quote]
[Quote]
See, this is what the holidays are all about. Three buddies sitting around chewing gum. –Kramer
[/Quote]
[Quote]
If you're not gonna be a part of a civil society, then just get in your car and drive on over to the East Side. –Kramer
[/Quote]
[Quote]
You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect. – George
[/Quote]
[Quote]
I have been performing feats of strength all morning. – Frank Costanza
[/Quote]
[Quote]
This woman hates me so much, I'm starting to like her.-George
[/Quote]
[Quote]
I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think "That's why I'm not a heterosexual." –George
[/Quote]
[Quote]
It became very clear to me sitting out there today that every decision I've made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat - it's all been wrong.– George
[/Quote]
[Quote]
When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.-George
[/Quote]
[Quote]
I'm not a lesbian. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian. –Elaine
[/Quote]
[Quote]
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.-Jerry
[/Quote]
[Quote]
Boy, these pretzels are makin' me thirsty. –Kramer
[/Quote]
[Quote]
Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it. – George
[/Quote]
[Quote]
Kramer: Well, I've got gonorrhea.
Elaine: That seems about right.
[/Quote]
[Quote]
Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.-George
[/Quote]
[Quote]
Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?-Jerry
[/Quote]
[Quote]
Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and then it goes over.-Jerry
[/Quote]
[Quote]
I've driven women to lesbianism before, but never a mental institution.-George
[/Quote]
[Quote]
I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham.-George
[/Quote]
[Quote]
You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.-Jerry
[/Quote]
[Quote]
I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up.-George
[/Quote]