This is the Bill Cosby brain damage stand up bit. We’re not sure how Bill Cosby’s wife felt about how having children changes you. It starts out with him talking about how his wife (before they had children) was the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. But once they had children, her face changed. Her mouth started to droop and she lost her looks. It’s because of their children. And it’s because all children have brain damage. If you put a drink down they immediately start to drink it. You tell them not to and they immediately pick it
Only Louis CK could get away with saying the N word so many times onstage as a white performer. (Well, if South Park were stand up comedians, I’m guessing they would have no trouble either.) But my point is, it’s a tricky and unbelievably delicate word to use. It’s probably the most controversial word there is in the English language. And this Louis CK N word bit shows us exactly why Louis CK is one of the most important comedians in the world. The most genius aspect of the Louis CK N word bit is that it’s not controversial at
Perfectly timed photos are NOT a dime a dozen. It takes hard to work capture a moment using a camera that is exactly right. Which is what makes these particular perfectly timed photos so amazing. There are a ton of funny perfectly timed photos in this gallery, but there are also a handful of really spectacular ones that aren’t to be missed! From the perfectly timed baby getting sick and then dog flying in mid-air to the lone solider yawning or the basketball referee who looks like he’s the king of all beers, these perfectly timed photos are crazy. One
These funny tweets aren’t all actually from this week, but we found them and think they’re deserving enough to go in our latest feature, Funny Tweets of the Week. Some of these tweets are from this week, last week, last month, and even some from way back in the day when Twitter was just a little thing that bounced on your grandmother’s lap. You know…WAY back in the day. But a funny tweet is a funny tweet, and we think you deserve to see the best 140 characters ever made at least once a week. Because we care for
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
a golden retriever
