Getting an ex text can be a good or bad thing. It’s good if you actually want them back and aren’t completely ready to kill them, or it can be a bad thing if they broke your heart and you want nothing to do with them but set all the clothes they left at your house on fire. Usually it’s the latter, and when people get ex texts it can bring up some pretty bad memories. But, from those bad memories and resentment can cause some pretty funny and awesome responses to ex texts, like the ones in this gallery.
We’ve seen quite a few funny facebook status updates in our day, and it feels like the more friends we get the more we find. What is it about facebook that makes people say the stupidest or smartest things? We’ve written our share of clunkers, but we WISH we wrote these super funny facebook status updates instead. We’ll keep posting more funny facebook status updates as we find them, but in the meantime enjoy these zingers! This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it. I finally found a diet plan that works. It’s called “The
Grandmas smoking pot might be the best thing to come from the Internet in the past decade. In fact, we’re starting a petition for more people to film grandmas smoking pot. Why? Because you can get gems such as these: “I don’t feel as high to me as they look to me.” “You need more. Oh, you need more.” “Put your whole face over that.” “I can feel some tingle in my brain” “I feel like I’m smiling” “I didn’t know you could use all your hands” “I thought it was a dildo” “My muscles seem not as tight” “I
Breaking up is hard to do…especially when you get a breakup note as harsh and funny as one of these. We’re really loving this gallery of funny breakup notes. Yes, we feel bad for the people they were written to, but there is something so hilarious about a breakup note that we can’t help but laugh. What is it about breakup notes that are so darn funny? Maybe it’s because you get a glimpse into a couple’s life, and usually what you see is pretty amazing. There are so many gems in this gallery that we don’t know how
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
a golden retriever
